Now, I am a proponent of free speech. I also believe one should stand up for what they believe in. I personally believe in bringing back the three-martini lunch, but that’s another column.
I just think it a bit odd that she is saying her child is a blessing, not a mistake, and then telling other kids her age not to put themselves in a position to receive a similar blessing.
But her father did say she had made a mistake. Ya think?
She has been photographed, looking not like most new mothers, regardless of their age, but slim and beautiful, even in her graduation cap and gown. “See, I have a baby and hair and makeup people and childcare and could finish high school! Don’t do this at home kids!”
So, in the interest of sending the opposite message than the one intended, here are a few suggestions for celebrity spokespersons for various causes:
Michael Vick for PETA. Believe it or not, this idea was actually considered.
Mike Tyson for domestic violence. As well as for tasteful tattoos.
Britney Spears for Parents magazine. That lady just oozes maternal concern.
Courtney Love for the “This is your brain on drugs” campaign. “This is your brain on drugs and really nasty.”
Tila Tequila for the Moral Majority. In the interest of full disclosure, I have never watched her reality show, but I hear things.
Tom Cruise for mental health awareness. Wait, he has to check with the Mothership.
Meatloaf for Weight Watchers. Or Roseanne. Or Drew Carey.
Ted Nugent for vegetarians. The Motor City Madman says, “Cows are people too!”
Dick Cheney for gun control. “Hey, I shot a guy in the face, and he apologized to me!”
Al Gore for Friends for Coal. “Global warming – made ya look!”
George W. Bush for the ACLU. “I’m here to talk to you about your freedom to speechify and freedom of pressing.”
The opportunities are limitless. I personally am going to represent a policy like China’s one-child-per-couple doctrine.
And perhaps Pilates.